Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

Next quotes

• Joan Rivers:

  Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

• Joan Rivers:

  Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up m

• Joan Rivers:

  Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

• Joan Rivers:

  Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

• Joan Rivers:

  My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

• Joan Rivers:

  She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleve

• Joan Rivers:

  I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

• Joan Rivers:

  I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

• Joan Rivers:

  If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

• Joan Rivers:

  There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.