I had this desk alongside the most beautiful Australian 18-year-old girl with long brown hair, and I got up enough nerve to ask her for a date.

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• Scott Adams:

  You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

• Scott Adams:

  I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

• Scott Adams:

  Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadeq

• Scott Adams:

  Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

• Scott Adams:

  We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.

• Scott Adams:

  Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.

• Scott Adams:

  The only risk of failure is promotion.

• Scott Adams:

  You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential peopl

• Scott Adams:

  Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create thei

• Scott Adams:

  If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.