I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

Next quotes

• Steven Wright:

  I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call whe

• Steven Wright:

  When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?

• Steven Wright:

  When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventuall

• Steven Wright:

  I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

• Steven Wright:

  In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to b

• Steven Wright:

  I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

• Sun Tzu:

  If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.

• Sun Tzu:

  To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in b

• Sun Tzu:

  Hence the saying: If you know the enemy and you know yourself, your victory will not stand in doubt

• Sun Tzu:

  He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.