I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.

Next quotes

• Rita Rudner:

  I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits

• Chris Rock:

  Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

• Lenny Bruce:

  The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what sh

• Bob Hope:

  You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

• Johnny Carson:

  If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio di

• Bob Newhart:

  This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.

• Ludwig van Beethoven:

  Music is the wine which inspires one to new generative processes, and I am Bacchus who presses out

• Gustav Mahler:

  If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music.

• Stephen Sondheim:

  I prefer neurotic people. I like to hear rumblings beneath the surface.

• Oscar Levant:

  I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.