I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

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• Colin Quinn:

  I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can'

• Colin Quinn:

  I think if you try to tailor your act to anybody, you end up with an act that doesn't work anyway.

• Colin Quinn:

  You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to

• Colin Quinn:

  I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a prett

• Sandra Bernhard:

  I'm trying to appeal to the disenfranchised everybody, not just specifically gay.

• Sandra Bernhard:

  The real terrorist threats are George W. Bush and his band of brown-shirted thugs.

• Sandra Bernhard:

  Anything that has cynicism to it and that's jaded is smutty.

• Sandra Bernhard:

  At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are

• Sandra Bernhard:

  Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

• Sandra Bernhard:

  Gayness is a non-issue.