I'm a terrible grocery shopper. I hardly ever do it. And if I do, there's never more than three things in the bag.

Next quotes

• Seth Meyers:

  The first time I had disposable income, the two things I cared most about were a television and a c

• Seth Meyers:

  People say, 'Oh, you're doing the job of journalists.' I think it's very important to note that we

• Seth Meyers:

  Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's he

• Seth Meyers:

  It's very hard to get inside Donald Trump's brain, and I don't want to try.

• Seth Meyers:

  I always thought I'd be a father.

• Seth Meyers:

  I don't get the conga line started. I'm not a great choice if the goal of the evening is just a cel

• Seth Meyers:

  It's nice to have an elephant in the room. There's nothing more helpful than something everybody's

• Seth Meyers:

  I'm not a tortured soul.

• Seth Meyers:

  I did not go into comedy to escape anything. I went into comedy because I had parents who thought i

• Seth Meyers:

  I want people to know my political point of view. There's an appetite for that, almost an expectati