I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

Next quotes

• Woody Allen:

  My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

• Woody Allen:

  If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

• Woody Allen:

  Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

• Woody Allen:

  His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

• Woody Allen:

  I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

• Woody Allen:

  If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

• Woody Allen:

  It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

• Woody Allen:

  Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

• Woody Allen:

  Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

• Woody Allen:

  Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on off