I've written not milestones of cinema but millstones.

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• Denis Norden:

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  Bob Monkhouse, Galton and Simpson, Spike Milligan and I all started around the same time with an en

• Denis Norden:

  Is the opposite of light entertainment meant to be dark and heavy?

• Denis Norden:

  You know you're getting old when a four-letter word for something pleasurable to do in bed is r-e-a

• Denis Norden:

  If it ain't baroque, don't fax it.

• Denis Norden:

  I have better peripheral vision in my left. It is quite hard to remain optimistic, but I have found

• Denis Norden:

  I'm not a great fan of the modern style of personal agonising, which crops up a bit too often for m

• Denis Norden:

  I recognise the pure gold that runs in Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin's work for 'Outnumbered' on TV.

• Denis Norden:

  Almost all comedy is of its time. You can't expect audiences now to laugh at what amused people 60

• Denis Norden:

  You can't have your kayak and heat it.