My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.

Next quotes

• Jay London:

  They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.

• Jay London:

  My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.

• Jay London:

  I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

• Jay London:

  I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

• Jay London:

  Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?

• Jay London:

  At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?

• Jay London:

  I was born nine months premature.

• Jay London:

  I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.

• Jay London:

  A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

• Jay London:

  I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not