Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

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• Groucho Marx:

  Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

• Groucho Marx:

  From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday

• Groucho Marx:

  I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room an

• Groucho Marx:

  I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

• Groucho Marx:

  Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

• Groucho Marx:

  Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

• Groucho Marx:

  I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

• Groucho Marx:

  The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words

• Groucho Marx:

  Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

• Jesus Christ:

  For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?