The last thing I want is to walk into my house after a long day and see all the Grammys and awards. It would make me feel weird.

Next quotes

• Milton Berle:

  It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.

• Milton Berle:

  I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a

• Milton Berle:

  Laughter is an instant vacation.

• Milton Berle:

  You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

• Milton Berle:

  The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he'

• Milton Berle:

  Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

• Milton Berle:

  Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

• Milton Berle:

  I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to

• Milton Berle:

  If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

• Milton Berle:

  I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.