The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Next quotes

• George Carlin:

  Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

• George Carlin:

  When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front r

• George Carlin:

  'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the

• George Carlin:

  If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rat

• George Carlin:

  I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she to

• Jesus Christ:

  I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of H

• Jesus Christ:

  Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

• Jesus Christ:

  Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

• John F. Kennedy:

  War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation an

• John F. Kennedy:

  Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind.