The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.

Next quotes

• Joan Rivers:

  I was a Brownie Scout mother.

• Joan Rivers:

  I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.

• Joan Rivers:

  The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.

• Joan Rivers:

  Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.

• Joan Rivers:

  I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

• Joan Rivers:

  All my friends are dying. That's why I always wear black.

• Joan Rivers:

  I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to sup

• Joan Rivers:

  What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work be

• Joan Rivers:

  I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.

• Joan Rivers:

  I am furious about everything.