There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

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• Jon Stewart:

  McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

• Jon Stewart:

  If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

• Jon Stewart:

  I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

• Jon Stewart:

  I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

• Jon Stewart:

  Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legal

• Jon Stewart:

  I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my hous

• Jon Stewart:

  I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have

• Jon Stewart:

  Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

• Jon Stewart:

  There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people

• Jon Stewart:

  You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to l