Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

Next quotes

• W. C. Fields:

  I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

• W. C. Fields:

  If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

• W. C. Fields:

  Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

• W. C. Fields:

  A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

• W. C. Fields:

  I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

• W. C. Fields:

  There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situat

• W. C. Fields:

  I like children - fried.

• W. C. Fields:

  I never met a kid I liked.

• W. C. Fields:

  It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

• W. C. Fields:

  Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.