I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

Next quotes

• George Carlin:

  Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

• George Carlin:

  People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they do

• George Carlin:

  Think off-center.

• George Carlin:

  Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the f

• George Carlin:

  I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe

• George Carlin:

  Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask,

• George Carlin:

  If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

• George Carlin:

  Religion is just mind control.

• George Carlin:

  Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

• George Carlin:

  Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.