Every television show you go on is a choice.

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• Joan Rivers:

  If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's ac

• Joan Rivers:

  I just love acting.

• Joan Rivers:

  I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes

• Joan Rivers:

  I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.

• Joan Rivers:

  The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me a

• Joan Rivers:

  I was a Brownie Scout mother.

• Joan Rivers:

  I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.

• Joan Rivers:

  The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.

• Joan Rivers:

  Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.

• Joan Rivers:

  I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.