I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

Next quotes

• Gilbert Gottfried:

  I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

• Gilbert Gottfried:

  Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.

• Gilbert Gottfried:

  If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.

• Gilbert Gottfried:

  I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.

• Gilbert Gottfried:

  I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will fi

• Gilbert Gottfried:

  In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.

• Gilbert Gottfried:

  One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were

• Gilbert Gottfried:

  I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and

• Gilbert Gottfried:

  There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality

• Gilbert Gottfried:

  If you're a lead actor, people are just waiting to say 'you're too old' or 'you're too unhip.' If y