I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.

Next quotes

• Steven Wright:

  I just have a relationship with my imagination. It's like my friend, almost.

• Steven Wright:

  When I die, I'm gonna leave my body to science fiction.

• Steven Wright:

  To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.

• Steven Wright:

  You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The br

• Steven Wright:

  I'm addicted to placebos.

• Steven Wright:

  I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.

• Steven Wright:

  Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for

• Steven Wright:

  All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.

• Steven Wright:

  If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

• Steven Wright:

  If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.