I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

Next quotes

• Steven Wright:

  I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

• Steven Wright:

  There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

• Steven Wright:

  I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

• Steven Wright:

  I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

• Steven Wright:

  If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

• Steven Wright:

  When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few

• Steven Wright:

  Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

• Steven Wright:

  I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

• Steven Wright:

  If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

• Steven Wright:

  Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.