My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.

Next quotes

• Joan Rivers:

  I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

• Joan Rivers:

  I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.

• Joan Rivers:

  I was not an attractive child.

• Joan Rivers:

  I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.

• Joan Rivers:

  I hate reality shows that are not reality.

• Joan Rivers:

  Every television show you go on is a choice.

• Joan Rivers:

  If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's ac

• Joan Rivers:

  I just love acting.

• Joan Rivers:

  I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes

• Joan Rivers:

  I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.