People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

Next quotes

• David Letterman:

  For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

• David Letterman:

  I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

• David Letterman:

  New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

• David Letterman:

  Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

• David Letterman:

  I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

• David Letterman:

  Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

• David Letterman:

  We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a le

• David Letterman:

  I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when yo

• David Letterman:

  Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now

• David Letterman:

  The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors go