A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

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• Artie Lange:

  It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got.

• Artie Lange:

  I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A

• Artie Lange:

  The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for

• Artie Lange:

  I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

• Artie Lange:

  Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as be

• Artie Lange:

  I never went through a period were I wanted to be a doctor, a cop or even a rock star. All I wanted

• Artie Lange:

  When you're an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one s

• Artie Lange:

  My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.

• Artie Lange:

  I got cast on 'MADtv' as one of eight permanent cast members chosen from 8,000 comics who'd been sc

• Artie Lange:

  Unlike a lot of comics, I didn't care about getting on 'Saturday Night Live.' That show had such hi