Because someone stole Gregory Peck's star on Hollywood Blvd., I have hired a Brink's guard to protect my star!

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• Rip Taylor:

  Marty Richards is an angel on Earth. A producer that does what he says he'll do. He helped me great

• Rip Taylor:

  I went to see Harvey again in Fiddler. Harvey's throat is getting better.

• Rip Taylor:

  I went to Sirius Satellite Radio and did my show, Rapping With Rip.

• Rip Taylor:

  Red Skelton... I broke into tears when I met him.

• Rip Taylor:

  Carrot Top... I gave him advice once and he ran with it. He should thank me.

• Rip Taylor:

  I was supposed to be on the Tonight Show but I broke my shoulder instead.

• Rip Taylor:

  I've created such a monster.

• Rip Taylor:

  I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens.

• Nick Clooney:

  Conventional wisdom holds that setting a timetable for getting American troops out of Iraq would be

• Nick Clooney:

  The kind of Iraq that emerges from all of this is ultimately out of our hands.