Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

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• Elayne Boosler:

  I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with

• Elayne Boosler:

  When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

• Elayne Boosler:

  When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole differe

• Elayne Boosler:

  I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

• Elayne Boosler:

  To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

• Elayne Boosler:

  You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

• Elayne Boosler:

  My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men wo

• Elayne Boosler:

  Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and

• Elayne Boosler:

  I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

• Elayne Boosler:

  I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in news