Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

Next quotes

• Billy Connolly:

  I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

• Billy Connolly:

  I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

• Billy Connolly:

  I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imag

• Billy Connolly:

  My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thi

• Billy Connolly:

  I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it

• Billy Connolly:

  I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind

• Billy Connolly:

  I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I be

• Billy Connolly:

  I still do my comedy and my performance stuff and my acting so it's not all-consuming. But I do fin

• Billy Connolly:

  I like Dali and Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.

• Billy Connolly:

  I don't understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I'm amazed what people come up with when