God created man, but I could do better.

Next quotes

• Erma Bombeck:

  Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

• Erma Bombeck:

  For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my h

• Erma Bombeck:

  Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

• Erma Bombeck:

  I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got

• Erma Bombeck:

  I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.

• Erma Bombeck:

  If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

• Erma Bombeck:

  If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

• Erma Bombeck:

  Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

• Erma Bombeck:

  There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

• Erma Bombeck:

  In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.