How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

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• Erma Bombeck:

  I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

• Erma Bombeck:

  My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerat

• Erma Bombeck:

  There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what i

• Erma Bombeck:

  A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

• Erma Bombeck:

  I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Ti

• Erma Bombeck:

  Children make your life important.

• Erma Bombeck:

  Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

• Erma Bombeck:

  Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit

• Erma Bombeck:

  A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

• Fidel Castro:

  Every citizen has the real right to receive general education and professional training at no cost,