I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Next quotes

• Joe E. Lewis:

  A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  I always wake up at the crack of ice.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  I drink to forget I drink.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  It pays to get drunk with the best people.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened?

• Joe E. Lewis:

  Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.