I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!

Next quotes

• Steven Wright:

  I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.

• Steven Wright:

  If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

• Steven Wright:

  The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

• Steven Wright:

  Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that

• Steven Wright:

  A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

• Steven Wright:

  I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escal

• Steven Wright:

  There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalat

• Steven Wright:

  I invented the cordless extension cord.

• Steven Wright:

  My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

• Steven Wright:

  How young can you die of old age?