I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar.

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• Pat Paulsen:

  Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must have been asleep when he ordered

• Pat Paulsen:

  You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right

• Pat Paulsen:

  I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave

• Pat Paulsen:

  We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.

• Pat Paulsen:

  The Clinton Administration has turned out to be a boon. I knew that he would be wonderful, I just k

• Pat Paulsen:

  I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those moron

• Pat Paulsen:

  As I've always said: The future lies ahead.

• Pat Paulsen:

  I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't c

• Pat Paulsen:

  Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

• Pat Paulsen:

  I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comed