I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.

Next quotes

• J. B. Smoove:

  You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the

• J. B. Smoove:

  Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperwar

• J. B. Smoove:

  I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I w

• J. B. Smoove:

  I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious.

• J. B. Smoove:

  I'll drive down the street, and I'll practice improv. I will sit there at a red light and see two g

• J. B. Smoove:

  I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've

• J. B. Smoove:

  Women put guys through tests all the time.

• J. B. Smoove:

  I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage.

• J. B. Smoove:

  You turn hotdogs with tongs. Don't you ever use those tongs on a hamburger.

• J. B. Smoove:

  True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.