My number one tip for all people, not just drag queens, is false eyelashes, which make every look go from daytime to glamazon!

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• John Madden:

  The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.

• Martha Stewart:

  I was married for 30 years. Isn't that enough? I've had my share of dirty underwear on the floor.

• Rush Limbaugh:

  You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

• Murray Walker:

  And that just shows you how important the car is in Formula One Racing.

• Robert Orben:

  Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

• Bianca Del Rio:

  Basically, I want the most unnatural look possible.

• Evel Knievel:

  I guess I thought I was Elvis Presley but I'll tell ya something. All Elvis did was stand on a stag

• Katya Zamolodchikova:

  I think you can safely joke about anything. Mostly.

• Regis Philbin:

  I'm involved in the stock market, which is fun and, sometimes, very painful.

• Conan O'Brien:

  If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.