Never put a sock in a toaster.

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• Eddie Izzard:

  They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

• Eddie Izzard:

  I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

• Eddie Izzard:

  So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Cl

• Eddie Izzard:

  If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

• Eddie Izzard:

  Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written

• Eddie Izzard:

  MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police

• Eddie Izzard:

  I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't d

• Eddie Izzard:

  Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.

• Eddie Izzard:

  I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started t

• Eddie Izzard:

  I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom l