There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.

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• Finley Peter Dunne:

  The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

• Finley Peter Dunne:

  There are no friends at cards or world politics.

• Finley Peter Dunne:

  Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

• Finley Peter Dunne:

  Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

• Finley Peter Dunne:

  Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the fa

• Finley Peter Dunne:

  It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.

• Finley Peter Dunne:

  A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

• Finley Peter Dunne:

  A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

• Finley Peter Dunne:

  Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

• Finley Peter Dunne:

  One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones