They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.

Next quotes

• Joe E. Lewis:

  I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and g

• Joe E. Lewis:

  The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

• Joe E. Lewis:

  We can afford almost any mistake once.