Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

Next quotes

• Emo Philips:

  You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.

• Emo Philips:

  I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'

• Emo Philips:

  The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of

• Emo Philips:

  In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they

• Emo Philips:

  I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

• Joyce Meyer:

  It's so important to realize that every time you get upset, it drains your emotional energy. Losing

• Richard M. Nixon:

  Remember, always give your best. Never get discouraged. Never be petty. Always remember, others may

• Richard M. Nixon:

  Defeat doesn't finish a man, quit does. A man is not finished when he's defeated. He's finished whe

• Richard M. Nixon:

  I see the face of a child. He lives in a great city. He is black. Or he is white. He is Mexican, It

• Richard M. Nixon:

  What starts the process, really, are laughs and slights and snubs when you are a kid. If your anger