I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.

Next quotes

• Dave Barry:

  'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

• Dave Barry:

  Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would

• Dave Barry:

  I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.

• Dave Barry:

  People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with t

• Dave Barry:

  Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

• Dave Barry:

  Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

• Dave Barry:

  The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious p

• Dave Barry:

  Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popul

• Dave Barry:

  We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty no

• Dave Barry:

  What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another p