What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.

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• Oscar Levant:

  I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

• Oscar Levant:

  Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.

• Oscar Levant:

  Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

• Oscar Levant:

  Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

• Oscar Levant:

  Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

• Oscar Levant:

  There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

• Oscar Levant:

  I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

• Oscar Levant:

  There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

• Oscar Levant:

  Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

• Oscar Levant:

  I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.