What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

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• Erma Bombeck:

  It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

• Erma Bombeck:

  Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until th

• Erma Bombeck:

  Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

• Erma Bombeck:

  One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of

• Erma Bombeck:

  God created man, but I could do better.

• Erma Bombeck:

  Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

• Erma Bombeck:

  For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my h

• Erma Bombeck:

  Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

• Erma Bombeck:

  I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got

• Erma Bombeck:

  I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.