At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.

Next quotes

• Emo Philips:

  How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

• Emo Philips:

  I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any o

• Emo Philips:

  I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your

• Emo Philips:

  I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

• Emo Philips:

  I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there w

• Emo Philips:

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• Emo Philips:

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• Emo Philips:

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• Emo Philips:

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• Emo Philips:

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